Tuesday, April 8, 2014


Boundaries often refer to invisible geographic lines which distinguish one country from another. These areas can be mapped out by a competent surveyor to determine agreed upon delineations of land ownership. The problem with these "lines" often lies in the disagreement among parties as to exactly where those barriers should be laid out. Wars have been fought, neighbors have killed each other, and natural boundaries such as great and high mountain ranges have vanquished trespassers as well.

That term is also used in a more wishy-washy manner when referring to one's personal space. One's etheric and/or physical boundary is often a matter of dispute as well - and  difficult to pin down. For example, co-dependent people don't set appropriate boundaries, meaning that they confuse their own identity with another person with whom they are embroiled, thus perceiving the other's problem as their own. Where their internal life ends and the others begins get discombobulated.

Setting personal boundaries can be vexing and difficult to define for someone whose space has been invaded constantly; for example, a parent who does physical harm or insults their child's dignity and self worth. These children risk growing into adults that don't even know what a boundary is, let alone learning how to draw the line.

Or, we can have false beliefs about what it means to be a giving, loving person -  which inadvertantly turns us into doormats instead of help mates.

The realistic way to set a personal healthy boundary is to know where your center is. From that fulcrum, it becomes much less mysterious to discover the radius of that circle. 

Happy hunting!

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