Noah and the Arclight

Putting on the hat of film critic for the moment, I highly recommend the newly released film Noah, if you would like to see the great Russell Crowe squeezing out a decent performance for one of the most ridiculous Biblical re-enactments ever made for the silver screen.

The fake animals look like they all have arthritis of the hip joint as they jerk onto the Arc, which looks like a monolithic wood cabin in the Appalachian mountains. The snakes luckily don't have that issue, though they do look like a swarm of leeches on a hemophiliac as they rush toward floating salvation.

Jennifer Connelly, the wife of the God-fearing-loving Noah, also turns in a very human, heart-wrenching performance despite the craggy robotic Light-beings trapped in plasticine rock of monolithic size (hold on, this wasn't in the original story) that constantly pop in and out of the frame. My husband disagrees with my thumbs up, stating that her solid talent was misused; her part only required her to whine and cry during the whole movie. That mood would be tough to maintain as an actress, so all credit goes to her for needing to be the stressed out wife of a prophet for the two and a half hours of footage that made the cut.

So folks, you can save your big bucks on a movie ticket and wait for it to appear on the small screen - unless you are a lover of movie extravaganza that imitates real cinema the way a MacDonald's hamburger compares to a filet mignon.


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