The American Taliban

Pat's mother must have deliberately bred with a person named Fagan in order to produce an offspring that emulates the same punitive characteristics of the heartless Fagin in Charles Dicken's Oliver Twist. This 21st century inquisitor warrants a sharp rebuke -- but only in person, about one inch away from his ruddy alcohol-bloated puss. But alas, even an in-your-face approach would do nothing to penetrate the perversity of his medieval mind.

The most horrifying aspect of Fagan's position includes words like "shame," "corral," and "punish." Perhaps this moral arbiter should go to Afghanistan, where his values would be truly appreciated by the Taliban. He might even teach them how to make stockades for the deflowered ones in the good old Puritan fashion.

That being said, with rampant STD's and other abuses of the body, a certain type of soul might want to wait until after the marital vows are sworn to do the horizontal boogie. Fine with me, although many of us don't agree with archaic dictates of religion. But as the French say, "Vive la différence."

In the meantime, Fagan the Second should be overjoyed that same-sex marriage has been legally instated by the US Supreme Court in all 50 states of the union. Now gay and lesbian lovers don't have to live in perpetual sin and can embody the family values he so cherishes. Right, Pat?