Gossip is Good for Nothing

When my niece was six years old, she had a run in with one of her adult relatives. No one told me about this altercation until a few months later. Family fights are an unpleasant subject and in my family of origin these unpleasantries were swept under the proverbial carpet.

Since I was close to said niece, I asked her why she had not shared this troubling encounter. She said, "You have to talk to the person you have the problem with."

Flabbergasted by this wise reply, I decided to take her advice. Talking to a third party about an issue (other than your therapist) often results in that third party talking to the person with whom you have the problem. And like a game of telephone, if the information is not relayed directly by you to the offender, it gets distorted. People love drama and tend to interject more negatively charged enthusiasm into an account than what one intended to convey.

Is this why gossip is considered a no-no in many world religions and ethical circles?

My mother used to say, "If you don't want anyone to know something, don't tell anyone."

Good advice not often practiced by me, and when gossip does fly from my lips, it always boomerangs back to me with avengance. Although my learning curve has improved over the years, periodically there is blow back from one of my impromptu vents to a third party.

Wise men and women are people of few words. To speak consciously, without giving unsolicited advice or passing judgement, challenges the speaker to set a high bar. Conscious, loving conversation and communication are an art form that needs practice.

The Medium Speaks Again

I saw James Van Praagh for a second time last night. Same venue, same marketing heading, but an entirely different show.

James claims that he never knows what spirit will direct him to do, and true to his word, the tone of night number two was quite different from the initial performance he put on the day before. (Maybe he got the vibe that he was viewed as leading a dog and pony show.) 

On the second round, he did a wonderful group meditation, told way less jokes (although a few standards were repeated), and the people for whom he read shed more tears - indicating that he had touched their hearts.

The most interesting part of the two-night experience was witnessing a public figure who was more or less in present time, reacting to the moment instead of a memorized script. And that's what it's all about. Anyone with a real connection to spirit knows that energy changes with the speed of thought. The split second the gestalt of the room changes, a good medium will pivot and respond to the "what is" to address the needs popping up.

Sitting in a room full of people whose intention is to lift the veils between themselves and the multidimensional world, where there is no death, is an uplifting experience.

All is well with the world today.

The Medium Speaks

Last night I went to a lecture/demonstration by the famous medium James Van Praagh. Having trained with him about 15 years ago and being a practitioner of that art myself, I was curious to see him all these years later. Knowing how the process works, I wanted to see how he dealt with the fact that no medium, no matter how fabulous, has 100% accuracy. He stands before crowds of hundreds while I sit with one person. No matter. When someone pays money and expects real results, trust must be engendered despite a less than perfect batting average.

When I studied with him, his first book came out in the last week of our class and it became an instant best-seller; his career skyrocketed from there and Part II of our class never came to pass. But we got it: love, forgiveness, and healing are the real purposes of connecting with spirit. Or as a famous Tibetan lama once said, "Have no unfinished business." So if you didn't get around to peacemaking with a loved one in human body, then a medium can come in handy.

That being said, James has had such overwhelming success in his career that the more subdued medium of yesteryear has become quite the entertainer to enliven the crowds he pulls in. I get it. Talking to the dead could spook folks so a few jokes and song might lighten things up.

Starting off with two songs from a quintessentially groomed gospel-trained church singer Thelma Jones, James bounces on stage after she rocks the house. The crowd is warming up. Then he jokes, "I am not a medium. I'm a large," in reference to his body type that resembles a gigantic beach ball. That's funny, James.

This is not a newspaper review of his performance so I'll get to the point of why this evening was valuable to me even if his schtick bored me silly. I knew what he was doing and while he spewed out endless details about the spirit who connected with a person in the audience (a son, an uncle, a mother), and people were transfixed, his entertainment style was like a dog and pony show to me.

But...but...he set an intention at the beginning of the evening: no matter which individual in the audience got a reading from him - the words, the energies present, were for all the people there; to be open to what may come.

I knew my recently departed husband wouldn't prod James to speak to me because he already has direct access. No need for a backup medium. I also knew that there were spirits and people in the audience who really needed James' reading that night and would take priority over a person the likes of myself.

So, when I realized that I had to sit there for two hours jammed in like a sardine, the obvious thing was to do a reading for myself and see who would come in. (Michael was already there with me, playfully jabbing my ribs and laughing at the irony of me sitting in this venue.)

And voila! His mother Violaine showed up. She had refused to see me in real life and had also disavowed two of her real female offspring. Heretofore, she never wanted to communicate in spirit either; a stubborn woman indeed.

After working with her and one of her departed daughters to peace make (they both missed early nurturing from their mothers, a generational issue), they happily skipped off into the ethers arm in arm. 

I marveled. James created a space for the entire audience to make a connection and it worked.

As he reminded those present, judgement blocks the good things in life and I am ever so thankful for his reminder. Despite my "insiders" view of the tricks of the trade, my critical mind slipped away as I rode the waves of the collective and hit a home run, to mix a few metaphors.

He says that we are not humans with a soul; rather we are souls having a human experience in this school called life. Perhaps he is right.

Blood Lines

Certain choice dogs, horses, cats and other creatures are subjected to selective breeding by their human owners. The bloodlines of these animals are of tantamount importance because the offspring from said champions yield big bucks in the marketplace.

In the human sphere, bloodlines also play a large role when it comes to the passage of money and property from one generation to the next. As this blogger is at the cusp of what is termed "old age," she and many of her friends have experienced the death of parents. In the case of those whose parents had assets to pass on, an interesting phenomenon has been observed.

In this modern age where divorce and remarriage happens, we get what my mother once called "the over-extended family." In a mixture of half-siblings, step-siblings, and full siblings, combined with step-parents and blood parents, the question of bloodlines versus emotional family ties makes for quite the stew...and plenty to stew over when the wills are read.

In the case of family ties created by social interactions of people not related genetically, the default position for inheritance usually follows the bloodlines. Naturally, this common scenario produces hurt, anger, resentment and often ill will by the family member not in the bloodline of the benefactor. And possibly for good reason; after having been treated as a real family member, when the rubber meets the road the dough goes to the genetically connected family member.

This trend bespeaks of an ancient, tribal mentality where genetic lineages signified the survival of the clan. In todays world, this notion is outmoded, yet our ancestral voices echo through the ages and dictate our decisions in the 21st century.

Although there are no right answers to the question of inheritance via blood lies versus social family ties, one thing is for sure. We will all become dirt one day, leaving behind every earthly possession. While we are here, no matter who gets the goods - or the short end of the stick - peace, harmony, compassion and gratitude are by far the greater inheritance.

The Daily Grind

For a Starbucks addict, the "daily grind" could signify an exciting new blend, akin to "specials" that high end restaurants feature. For a factory worker with a robotic job, it might mean something entirely different; a pay check that wears away body and soul. For a parent who has good food to feed the children, the momentum of getting healthy nutrients into their bodies might get old after years of negotiation; for the parent who has no food to feed their children, it might be the never-ending daily struggle to find a few scraps to ward off starvation.

Another type of "daily grind" lies buried deep within the recesses of the mind and can afflict the poor, the middle-class, the wealthy, and people of all nationalities. That tedium springs from ignoring life's purpose. Like a hamster on a treadmill, the person who lives an unexamined life runs frantically trying to get somewhere yet finds himself caught inextricably in the wheel of samsara.

Every day when the sun's light strikes the horizon, an opportunity presents itself to live the examined life. Like a surgeon who cuts out diseased tissue, self reflection can root out thoughts and emotions that rob one's life energy and the joy of breathing.

We are truly alive when we wake up.

The Great Ones

At any one point in history, great men and women walk the planet thoroughly steeped in the consciousness of Love. Sometimes their prominence shines publicly as thousands flock around them for inspiration, healing, and evolution towards enlightened mind.

Others emanate their refined vibrational presence within a small circle of fortunate individuals who cross their path. I recently encountered such a teacher in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, privileged to experiece his unceasing dedication to prayer, meditation, and wise counseling. His healing presence transformed my aching heart with a hand mudra that he effortlessly displayed .

Could we not also lead a life following the example of this miracle of mankind? And possibly, with this life-affirming love, create a heaven on earth?

One obvious answer: someone must be a manager, a worker, or an organizer of a society. No matter how simple a social structure, nonetheless people need to eat, build shelters, and clothe themselves. The logical person might also respond that not everyone has the karma or the innate inclination to spend their life in prayer and meditation; humans are party-animals and social gatherings make for a certain joie de vivre.

Yet, at the very least, we could spend part of our day in mindful awareness, a trend that is spreading in slow motion throughout this land. Even 60 Minutes had a segment on this meditative practice, with Anderson Cooper spending a weekend learning how to meditate. Probably a more useful segment than the ones where he swims with sharks and alligators, he says it was a "life changer."

If a busy anchorman can do it, so can we. Anger management classes teach people to count to ten before responding and that pause seems to mitigate a destructive response. So if every person on the planet took a minimum of 15 minutes day, and much more if possible, then image how much more conscious and careful our thoughts and actions might be.

Many of us are somewhat cynical, giving the cycles of war and violence that have plagued civilization since the dawn of recorded history. Nonetheless, the dream of an evolved mankind must not be lost in the melee of conflict on a personal or national level. If enough people begin to practice mindful awareness and expand those moments to saturate waking moments, then anything is possible.

 

Press-urgh

Repeat "Press-urgh," rapidly like a tongue twister, and the tongue defaults to the familiar word "pressure." Either way, this little gimmick holds within it a metaphor for a trend hotly debated in the media.

Many news outlets have refused to air the new cover of  Charlie Hedbo, which depicts the Prophet Mohammed holding a sign that says, "Je suis Charlie," and a phrase above his head, "All is forgiven." The inclusion of this phrase is remarkable under the circumstances and the consciousness of the cartoonists who created it should be lauded.

Alas, there was pressure from within the ranks of CNN, MSNBC, Al Jezeera and other international media outlets not to show this new cover for fear of more reprisals from the true infidels (the terrorists).

There is some truth to both sides of the argument:

1) Insane fanatics can't take a joke, so why provoke more acts of gratuitous violence (which have already occurred in some parts of the world)? Would you deliberately stick your hand in a hornets' nest?

2) Respecting the wishes of madmen can only lead to more madness. For example, the appeasement of Hitler at the onset of his incursion into Europe was blunder of colossal proportions.

It is easy to pass an armchair judgement, but one detail is undeniable. Defenders of human rights and freedom of speech often become martyrs for the cause, but because of their heroic and fearless stand, pave the way for the rest of us.

Not every person has the courage to demonstrate when the consequences could be life-threatening (as is the case in many parts of the world today) but thank the All-That-Is for those people.

Fearlessness and discriminating wisdom are the two sides of the coin. Which one is the winner in this coin toss?